Chapter 10: Parenting—Non-abusive parenting ideas and tools

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In functional families reasonable rules are established ahead of time with all involved. Each rule is reasonable, age approapriate and agreed on by each family member. Consequences are understood and agreed on ahead of time by all family or group members. Consequences are geard to teach valuable lessons and keep the self-esteem in tact, never to punish. 

In Dysfunctional families, no one but those in the power position have a say in rules or consequences for breaking them. Members may be unreasonabley punished for rules or punished for rules were never made aware of. Punishment is intended for control, and degrades ones self-esteem.